If 40k armies were footballers.

Well, after a few serious posts its about time for something dumb. I like 40k and I like football, the one with a round ball that is actually played with your feet in case our American friends were wondering ;) and the other day for some weird reason I was comparing 40k armies to footballers and here is what I cam up with:
Grey Knights would be Luis Suarez
Why? Because those that like them defend them to the hilt, everybody else hates them, they are controversial and when you get down to it a little bit racist.
Tau would be Fernando Torres
Why? Because they used to be good, really shooty but now they are a bit crap and those that bought them wish they hadn't spent so much on them.
Eldar would be Cristiano Ronaldo
Why? Because they are fast, very good at shooting but they look a little bit gay.
Imperial Guard would be Grant Holt
Why? Because they are fat and slow but good at shooting and are hard to stop.
Dark Eldar would be Robin Van Persie
Why? Because they are fast and shooty, they have a bit of a mean streak but they fall over really easily.
Daemons would be Carlos tevez
Why? Because you have no idea when they are going to turn up and if they will do what you ask them to and they are ugly as sin.
Orks would be Joey Barton
Why? Because they like talking nonsense and spend all their time fighting.
Necrons would be Paul Scholes
Why? Because just when you think you have finally got rid of them they get back up and start just as good as they were before.
Any that you can think of? Put those overpaid crybabies in the comments :)